ABC Nightline: "Classic Ballet Re-invented."

Boston Magazine: "Truly A Blessed Event."

And, yes, we are Girls! Girls! Girls! with everyone in between and beyond, but this time we are in charge. No more little Clara gamed by an uncle to vacation with a stranger man wearing a dance belt. She is instead played as a healthy adult. Our premier in 2008 brought sold-out audiences to the historic 900-seat Somerville Theatre.

The Washington Post: "The Slutcracker Is  A Hit."

Thrillist's Balm For 2020!

Curtain to curtain, we preserve classic's essential music and story arc but insist you leave the kids at home. Our Cavalier is played as the Dildo Prince.

The Times Of London: "The Dry-Humping Clowns  Added To The Enjoyment."

MetroWeekly.com: A Showcase Of Movement Diversity

So it's no wonder The Slutcracker, although a seasonal show, has run more than 200 times and welcomed thousands of returning fans.

AVN: "More Throbbing Than Watching The Nutcracker."

"We're Nuts For Sluts!" says He Said, Dallas

Slutcracker: The Movie is only possible because we commissioned a crystalline recording of our own Nutcracker score, Tchaikovsky's famed "Casse Noisette", from Filharmonie Brno in the Czech Republic. The movie is available on our custom independent channel. $15 Powered by Paypal.

Boston Herald: "For more than a decade, this randy candy-cane burlesque has made the holidays a little brighter, and a lot dirtier."

One Of The Week's "Best Ways to Watch The Nutcracker!"

The cast is diverse across several axes: we cast performers of different shapes, sizes, colors, genders, abilities, ages (over 18), and talents. Year to year, the show changes partly based on who joins the show in a particular season. Sometimes inspiration for a new character, costume, or scene comes from an audition. We give a lot of wiggle room for performers to shape their characters—their diverse experiences bring a richness to both the storytelling and the choreography that a director can’t deliver on her own.

CAST A: December 3, 4, 5, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20

CAST B: December 9, 10, 11, 12, 22, 23, 31

Please note: the Playbill is under construction.

John Waters, Famous Filmmaker And One-Time Show Host: "A Great Hymn To Christmas And Sexuality."

Also get hats, hoodies and pasties while supplies last.

Frequently Given Answers

Yes, this is a live event. Somerville Theatre requires proof of Vaccination or a negative Covid test within 72 hours for entry. The City of Somerville requires masks.

No, we aren't X-rated, though we have heard reports of steamed car windows in the parking lot and a couple of marriages.

Our full-length movie combines HD footage from several shows to present a curtain-to-curtain production.

To purchase a rental, click the "The Movie" button. You will be taken first to your Ballet Ruses shopping cart. Click the Buy button to finish at the Paypal checkout. After completing the purchase, you will be directed to our custom player. Easy peasy. An email from us will contain your unique key, should you want to watch later. Don't lose it!

The rental expires 48 hrs from purchase.

Each viewer receives an email with a unique ticket number that cannot be recovered by us. Don't delete it. Check spam filters for missing email receipts.

Zoom sharing: Yes.

The sharing of a rental ticket URL will disable play for those using it.

Slutcracker: The Movie is presented on a cusotm player built with streaming industry standard architecture and software. Casting with Airplay (which is the Apple iOS mechanism to cast) has been tested the most extensively by our team and works best. Casting from a laptop running Google Chrome has been tested as well and has been more consistent than casting from an Android device to a Chromecast-enabled TV. Chromecast issues should be alleviated by mirroring the device screen to your TV.

No, we don't use cookies, or collect any information provided during the rental for marketing purposes.

No, we aren't accepting pitches from "sizzle men" who know how to make a buck off some titties.

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