ABC Nightline: "Classic Ballet Re-invented."

Our Live Stage Show Opens December 3rd 

The Slutcracker is a two-act dance production helmed by women. Our parody of The Nutcracker begins with the observation Clara was never old enough to go on vacation with a stranger wearing a dance belt. Our premier in 2008 brought sold-out audiences to the 900-seat Somerville Theatre.

The Washington Post: "The Slutcracker Is  A Hit."

Thrillist's Balm For 2020!

Curtain to curtain, we preserve The Nutcracker's essential music and story arc but leave the kids at home. Our Cavalier is played as the Dildo Prince.

The Times Of London: "The Dry-Humping Clowns  Added To The Enjoyment."

Slutcracker: The Movie

Slutcracker: The Movie is only possible because we commissioned a crystalline recording of our own Nutcracker score, the famed "Casse Noisette", from Filharmonie Brno in the Czech Republic. The movie is available on our custom independent channel. $15 Powered by Paypal.

AVN: "More Throbbing Than Watching The Nutcracker."

"We're Nuts For Sluts!" says He Said, Dallas

The cast is diverse across several axes: we cast performers of different shapes, sizes, colors, genders, abilities, ages (over 18), and talents. Year to year, the show changes partly based on who gets cast in a show in a particular season. Sometimes inspiration for a new character, costume, or scene comes from an audition. We give a lot of wiggle room for performers to shape their characters—their diverse experiences bring a richness to both the storytelling and the choreography that a director can’t deliver on her own.

Boston Herald: "For more than a decade, this randy candy-cane burlesque has made the holidays a little brighter, and a lot dirtier "

One Of The Week's Best Ways to Watch The Nutcracker!

The Slutcracker has the happy fortune of working with some of the coolest, most talented dancers, performers and theater nerds in the Boston area and beyond. Click the link to find both casts — Amazing and Bodacious — and crew lists.

John Waters, Famous Filmmaker And One-Time Show Host: "A Great Hymn To Christmas And Sexuality."

Also get hats, hoodies and pasties while supplies last.

Frequently Given Answers

Yes, this is a live event. Somerville Theatre requires proof of Vaccination or a negative Covid test within 72 hours for entry. The City of Somerville requires masks.

No, we aren't X-rated, though we have heard reports of steamed car windows in the parking lot and a couple of marriages.

Our full-length movie combines HD footage from several shows to present a curtain-to-curtain production.

To purchase a rental, click the "The Movie" button. You will be taken first to your Ballet Ruses shopping cart. Click the Buy button to finish at the Paypal checkout. After completing the purchase, you will be directed to our custom player. Easy peasy. An email from us will contain your unique key, should you want to watch later. Don't lose it!

The rental expires 48 hrs from purchase.

Each viewer receives an email with a unique ticket number that cannot be recovered by us. Don't delete it. Check spam filters for missing email receipts.

Zoom sharing: Yes.

The sharing of a rental ticket URL will disable play for those using it.

Slutcracker: The Movie is presented on a cusotm player built with streaming industry standard architecture and software. Casting with Airplay (which is the Apple iOS mechanism to cast) has been tested the most extensively by our team and works best. Casting from a laptop running Google Chrome has been tested as well and has been more consistent than casting from an Android device to a Chromecast-enabled TV. Chromecast issues should be alleviated by mirroring the device screen to your TV.

No, we don't use cookies, or collect any information provided during the rental for marketing purposes.

No, we aren't accepting pitches from "sizzle men" who know how to make a buck off the "girls."

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